All blogs must come to an end...

All good things must come to an end I guess. Or so I hear. :)

I wanted to thank everyone who has taken time out of their days to stop by and read my blog. It really, really, meant a lot to me and helped me a LOT. It was an act of kindness for you to read my blog and make comments and show interest. Blogging for me has been an amazing experience. It has actually made my life feel special. And it gave me an outlet for all the things running around my head. Plus getting to share in your lives through your blogs made me feel a part of a community and it was awesome to share in your struggles and successes in life.

But I think I've decided to end the blog. For me this blog was about personal growth and helping me accomplish a goal. Lately it has felt like it is no longer necessary.

I feel my goals have been accomplished. In the last year I have come out of my shell. I have learned how to date (at a late stage of my life I know). I have met some WONDERFUL women and had some really incredible experiences which I will remember for the rest of my life. I fell in love however briefly and I don’t regret a moment of it. And my interaction with these awesome women has energized the rest of my non-dating life, career, goals, desire to take advantage of life, etc...

If there were a highlight reel it would probably be a montage of:

1) Me getting ready for my first date
2) Dr. Sexy and her dog
3) The Hamptons with Hottie Nurse
4) Plus a lengthy, lengthy, lengthy gag reel filled with all the stupid things I've done that now make me laugh. Although some still make me cringe.
5) Plus if this were on HBO there would be a quick succession of a whole, whole, whole lotta twins. A set for every kind, generous, good-hearted women who bestowed that favor upon me…

I think I am ready to date now on my own. And I am reaching the stage with women where I feel a bit wierd about airing our personal laundry to the world wide web even if it is anonymous. But the main thing is I got this feeling that the right next step in growing is to move on from the blog.

I want to wish everyone who has visited me what my father always wishes for me when he writes me a letter:

Health, Happiness and Good Fortune

WHEN I do end up getting married I'll post a final post just in case anyone happens to stop by. A symbolic act of 'the last one out turning off the lights'. And if anyone wants to contact me the comments section still goes to my email so I will see it.

As a closing note, Hottie Nurse and I have decided to start seeing other people. True to form with Hottie Nurse who was always very direct and without subterfuge or innuendo, I think we actually really mean to keep seeing eachother. She just felt rushed and guilty that she wasn't moving at the same pace I was. What pace that exactly is I do not know. She saw I had put her picture on my cell phone and that freaked her out. It’s not like I asked her to marry me… And we’ve been physically intimate for a few months now.

Last night we went out to dinner and she suggested a walk. I've begun to develop a spider sense about when women tense up before having to say something. She said she had noticed on my eHarmony profile I had written that "my profile was inactive because I was in a relationship with someone I met on eHarmony." The R word freaked her out. She said she felt guilty she wasn't moving as quickly as she felt I wanted. We walked around a lot and thought and at the end of the evening I suggested we start seeing other people to slow things down and give us both some perspective. I got my keys back and hugged her goodbye. Her exams are over in 2 weeks so we'll see where things go from there. That said, I saw a couple at Starbucks and they seemed to really care about eachother. I think I need someone who is a little more affectionate than Hottie Nurse. And less scared of the R word. But my profile is back up on eHarmony and I am back in the flow I guess.

My immediate plans for the future:

1) Learn to play the guitar. Ladies love the music. And more importantly, I like music myself.
2) I just met a woman on eHarmony who when I saw her picture I said out loud in my apartment “wow, she’s really, really, really, really hot.” So her codename will be R4Hot.”
3) Just try to enjoy the road of life.

So. In anycase, THANK YOU ALL AGAIN FOR EVERYTHING! I wish you all a world of health, happiness and good fortune! And since this is me and not my father I’d like to addend that wish with one more.

I wish you all health, happiness, good fortune and I hope you all find that special someone. I hope you all find love.

GuyGM

P.S. I’ll be saying thank you personally to everyone that stopped by whose blog is still active in the next few days. But it’s late and I need to go to sleep… :)
P.P.S. I'll still of course continue visiting your blogs so please watch out for typos and grammar!

Songs on the Radio...

Well, I'm filled with a lot of questions about life...

1) When is it compromising and when is it being realistic?
2) When is it ok to feel like what this song "My Wish" is about? And when is it being a sappy dude who needs to get a grip?

Life is not about PERFECT. I'm 36. It's about finding how to make what you have into happiness. What I thought was special about my relationship with a certain woman who will remain nameless is that for some reason we felt we could share that feeling and talk about the things you feel when it is Saturday night, you are alone on the road driving somewhere and you hear this song on the radio. I'm not getting that with Hottie Nurse and have never really gotten that with any other woman I've dated. How often does that happen? Was it just a temporary quirk of fate?

I was at this BBQ with Hottie Nurse's married friends. I was surrounded by cops and firefighters. And I wondered what is normal for a relationship that leads to marriage. I recognize that I am more on the sensitive side among dudes. So I am a bit of a peculiar guy. I'm writing about my feelings on a blog for pete's sake.

What I like about being in a relationship was when a woman talks about what she hopes for in life and shares the music that makes her happy and sappy stuff like that. How often does that happen? Hottie Nurse and I seem to be about laughing and having sex. And I'm not complaining ... believe me... But do most people feel that connection at an emotional level?

I need to have a systematic bent towards making things work right now and not looking for that perfect relationship that is a myth of one's youth.

love

Got a picture message on my phone...

Well, got a picture message of a golden retriever on my phone... For a millisecond I thought it was Dr. Sexy. Wierd the chemicals that flood the brain. Had this rush of hope and happiness...

I always thought it was interesting that the ability to feel bliss was stored in some gland in your brain as a chemical... but you aren't allowed to choose to let that chemical out. It can only be let out if you achieve something in real life. It just sits there.

And I know it is wrong to mope, to distract myself from Hottie Nurse, to feel self-pity about Dr. Sexy. In real life outside this blog, I do my best to do the right thing. But this is my blog and it is an outlet...

It is interesting I was completely over her until I saw her happy with another guy. Seven Deadly Sins. Jealousy is like a dog that you can never feed enough so it will go away. It just eats and eats and eats. But he seemed like an honestly very good guy so I am happy for her.

So now that I am confessing, I also feel like I am burning through valuable time by waiting until Hottie Nurse is done with her exams in a few weeks to talk with her about money. I feel urgently I want to get married that I honestly just kinda want to start dating other woman right away. I guess the reason why I am not feeling that click with Hottie Nurse is:

a) I never see her bc she is busy with her career
b) She is very guarded and gunshy. So we are always at a superficial level and never share feelings with eachother. She is as someone described 'a turtle'.

How do I feel about Hottie Nurse? Intellectually, I feel like she would be wonderful to marry. But feelings-wise I am so entangled with Dr. Sexy's memory and on such a superficial level with Hottie Nurse and a little cautious bc of the whole money thing that I am not feeling that attachment.

love
heartbreak

Evidently Babe Magnets Do Actually Exist...

OK... This isn't some misogynistic post like the title suggests...

Throughout history man has sought two things.

1) The Fountain of Youth
2) The Mythical Babe Magnet. The element so powerful women are irresistably attracted to it by instinct.

Borat seemed to think the Babe Magnet was an accessory you buy with a Cadillac. Most dudes think it is money, or a Porsche, or a gigantic house or something else insulting like that.

But NO! It turns out I have discovered the one true Babe Magnet.

The formula is as such:

1) Start the formula with GuyGM and his friendly face. I may not be a model but people always say I seem clean-cut, intelligent and very kind face-wise.
2) Put the "Magical T-Shirt" on said GuyGM. I don't want to describe this T-Shirt more because I don't want other dudes copying me. But suffice it to say... Every time I wear this T-Shirt 3 women every 3 hours walk up to me and laugh and say hi. Three REALLY HOT women... This has been the biggest surprise of my life.

This is so wierd. I was actually on the phone talking with Hottie Nurse and this woman interrupts me and says "hi, love your t-shirt ... wink wink"

Being from the East Coast and hence quite rude, the first time this happened this woman smiled at me and pointed at my t-shirt. I thought she was flipping me off cause it took me by surprise and happened kinda quick so I gave her a dirty look and walked off. Two blocks down the street I realized she was just saying hi.

Yay Magical T-Shirt!

So... I am waiting to talk with Hottie Nurse about money for a few weeks. Long story short, she is under a lot of stress and has some huge exam to take to certify herself for her career after 3 years of studying and school. The exam will happen sometime in September once she is assigned an exam date. I don't want to put the pressure of a potential breakup on her right now cause she is freaking out about studying and worried about failing. I'll wait until she passes her exam and then talk with her. Goodbye Hottie Nurse? That would make me very sad...

babe magnet

Final Chart

So... in the previous post I charted and analyzed all the dates I've had on this blog vs. character, beauty, intelligence, weight, age...etc... and came up with some conclusions about this bachelor's subconscious mind.

But funnily enough I forgot the thing I most often talk about! Twins!

Here is the twins cup size vs. time chart for all the wimmins I've dated.

Analysis: I'm a dude who appreciates the female form...



So... in an afterthought... dudes don't diet. But I happened to notice I now weigh 172 pounds and I am 6'1". I run 3 miles a day. I've lost 26 pounds since this blog began... Blogging can be healthy! Plus the desire to procreate can be a powerful incentive... sigh...

I miss Dr. Sexy... I was at a bar tonight celebrating my weight loss by drinking a lot of beer, watching sports and eating nachos... Saw a lot of short, curvy Italian women walking around who reminded me of her...

Well, hmm... don't feel like sitting alone with my thoughts of Dr. Sexy so I will write some more... The color coding is different from the other charts. You can probably guess what green means... And how did I know how big each woman was? Every being on earth is granted one distinctive talent. Bill Gates was given marketing ability. Warren Buffet was given investing skill. I was given this gift where even if a woman walks into a bar in a burlap sack I can tell with a 99% certitude the size, tone, shape, suppleness, etc... of her twins... It's a gift. I really can't control it.

cup size

Nuthin says lovin' like a good chart graph...

So... I hesitated to post this next post for fear of hurting or offending someone. But I have heard that this blog is helpful because it provides an unadulterated view inside one dude's mind. And these charts address questions often asked by my female friends. So a statistical analysis of one bachelor's behavior when he thinks no one is watching can yield some productive, interesting insights for any female daters out there. I've often wondered what women look for so I figured some statistics on what one dude looks for could be helpful too. In anycase, the last thing I want and the thing I fear the most is to offend anyone. I honestly posted this just because I thought it might be helpful and in some cases fun... So anyway....


CHART 1: The HOTNESS of My Dates Over Time As I Became A Better Dater



So on this chart the y-axis represents hotness with 10 being mui caliente. The x-axis is time started from November of 2006 when I first started blogging. The red lettering indicates the woman wasn't digging me. The green indicates that while she may have dumped me eventually she was into me long enough to: a) break my heart b) let me roam wild and free in the wonderful pastures where her twins abide OR c) I wasn't digging her.

Analysis: Except for the outlier of the first out of the box Dr. Way Way Way Too Hot For Me, hotness of my dates went up as I: a) lost weight, b) got a tan, c) got a better apartment and clothes, d) became less clueless at dating...

Also, Match was a bust for me. But then eHarmony came along and I could do no wrong. I am not sure if this was because I was a better dater or because eHarmony really, really works. Or it could be what I want in women is not what wants me back. With Match, I chose the women I approached. Whereas for eHarmony, the computer told me what I wanted and I said "yes more please..."


Chart: AGE of my dates over time



I can't really sense a pattern here. But what I did notice was that over 32 I sensed a lot of urgency and in some cases weariness with dating. I think I project this too at 36 as a male. It is something I actively try to surpress and something I try to change my thinking about.

From my end, it is interesting that among the wide age group I dated, women did not seem to ding me more when they got younger...

Chart: HOTNESS vs. PERCEIVED INTELLIGENCE



This chart is skewed. Practically all the women I dated had graduate degrees. If anything, except for the outlier that was Trench Coat Woman (i.e., her of great beauty and bountiful twins), there seems to be a statistically significant pattern indicating hotness increases with intelligence. Actually some mainstream scientists did a study and it showed that hot people tend to have a few more IQ points on average believe it or not... Tall people too... Wierd...

Chart: Hotness vs. Character



Once again, except for She of Mighty Breasteses, character is correlated with hotness...


Chart: Weight vs. Time



Weight seems to have an upward trajectory over time. Partially because my ideal body type is that of Dr. Sexy. Big twins. Thin waist. Nice butt. Feminine and a bit cute and a little jiggly. She was about 20 pounds over the AMA guideline for women's weight given her height. But personally I think that is very sexy and more "fun" physically. I was looking for an actress who had a similar body to hers and could not find one. Pictures of actresses and models tend to be quite thin.

The only problem I have with Hottie Nurse is while she is hot to look at, really thin women in bed are kind of like smooching with a coat hanger. That said, Hottie Nurse is so INCREDIBLY HOT.

THEN AGAIN... as I look at this I realize that no statistical analysis is accurate without a computer. Looking at these charts completely different conclusions can be reached than the ones I have come to. Only a regression package would be able to tell me what the true coefficients are and what the R-Squared predictiveness of these coefficients are. Some might say I attributed character solely because women were hot.... etc...

Well, these charts I guess are like those inkblot tests psychologists give (yo Dr. Sexy!) ... patients see what they want to see in the randomness...

So gonna talk to Hottie Nurse about money...

So... I think this weekend I am going to have a serious talk with Hottie Nurse about money. I obviously have to be circumspect about this and not just blurt it out.

But I figure I don't want to waste her time or I guess mine if I am not what she is looking for in terms of earnings power. Plus I really, really don't want to get into a situation where a woman likes me because of my job. That is a recipe for disaster. So turning point I guess this weekend.

That said, otherwise, things seem to be going ok. Met her friends at the Labor Day bbq. They were all teachers, nurses and police officers from Jersey. I felt kind of out of place. But they were all very friendly and welcoming. I respected her friends a lot. This group of friends is all married and they are all on a mission in life. They all have houses, building lives, starting families, putting basements in their houses... I'd like to be there. They were all about 4 years younger than me. That said, socially I felt kinda awkward. They all had Jersey accents and I felt kinda out of place. But they were all very friendly and felt more at ease towards the end of the night.

Emotional intimacy-wise things still feel pretty distant. I think because she is so cautious and analytical and me the same we haven't reached a very close level yet. She is very sparing in expressing affection. That said, she did send me a thank you card which was unexpected for the weekend in the Hamptons. At the end she wrote she felt "blessed to have met me" which was nice.

Then again, maybe this pace is normal for a few months. That said, I think I have figured it out. After a few months, sharing things about yourself helps create that bond cause you are opening yourself up. So if things go well with Hottie Nurse this weekend on the money issue... well, it's been a few months so I am going to try to take things to the next level... Otherwise if I don't feel more of a connection maybe it's back to the drawing board...

Hottie Nurse said ..."When you wake up I'll be in your bed..."

So... we are going to a Labor Day bbq. But she is working an overnight shift until 7AM... We were making plans and she is going to come straight from the hospital, sleep a few hours at my place and we are going to head out to the bbq together...

So she said, "when you wake up in the morning I'll be in your bed."

I thought that was so sweet. It's 2:15AM and I am so excited I can't actually go to sleep...

GuyGM